Poetry

Purpose in the Pain

There’s a purpose in the pain
But it’s hard to see
When you’re trying to push through, battle on

There’s a purpose in the pain
But it’s hard to see
When you’re trying to put one foot in front of the other
Trying to keep things moving
Trying to make ends meet

There’s a purpose in the pain
But it’s hard to see
When you feel sad more than happy
When there’s no movement in the mundanity

There’s a purpose in the pain
But it’s hard to see
When it just feels like bad things are happening
When it feels like God’s forgotten you
When others can’t feel the ache in your heart

There’s a purpose in the pain
And we often don’t see it until afterwards
And sometimes we don’t see it all
But you emerge from the season of bleakness
Stronger, wiser, deeper
More aware of your strengths
More aware of your weaknesses
Closer to God, though he felt so far away

There’s a purpose in the pain
Because it stretches your spiritual muscles
You know more of what God wants you to do
And not do
You can comfort and support others in pain
You realise God was there, after all

There’s a purpose in the pain
Because now you’re sharper with your gifts
Wiser with your time
More focused on Him

There’s a purpose in the pain
Although it’s hard to see
Keep moving step by step
And cry if you want to

There’s a purpose in the pain
It reminds us that we’re human
And that we need God more than we think
Weeping will only endure for a moment
But joy will come in the morning

 

Darkness deep

You wouldn’t choose to go there
The depth of darkness
The totality of despair
The utter helplessness
No, no one would choose it

But sometimes life takes you there
It was never on your plan
You never saw it on the map
Such darkness, such despair
But there you are

Going through the motions of life
But inside going through the motions of death

Waking, washing, speaking, moving
But also creeping, shrinking, masquerading, dying
How long, Lord? How long?

It feels like an abyss
There’s nowhere to turn
You scream, but there’s no sound
You cry, but there are no more tears

Everything is going wrong
You silently hope for a word that
Will make the pain go away
But nothing

It’s just you in the darkness
You in the silence
Suspended

‘I’m here’
Who’s that?

‘I’m here’
Who’s there?

‘It’s me, Your Father. I’m here

But what about the silence?

I’m here.

But what about the darkness that feels like it’s overtaking me

I’m here

You may not see me, or hear me, or feel me, but I’m here.
Still fighting for you
Still protecting you
Still loving you

I want you to know that I’m here.

I’m here

I’m here

Psalm 139
Hebrews 13: 5b

 

Sometimes

Sometimes you can’t pray the pain away.
Sometimes it’s just there.

You sit in it; you sit with it.
It just doesn’t go away

You long for the happy season
When you laughed without restraint

Sometimes encouraging words don’t take root
Well-intentioned prayers fall on your deaf ears

Sometimes it just feels like there’s no way out

Sometimes we need to sit in the stillness
Sit with the pain
Crying
Weeping
Wailing
Before God

We’ve got to get it out

Our Father hears
Our spoken words
Our silent words
Our scattered thoughts
He’s there in the stillness

Sometimes we have to go through the pain
But we don’t have to do it alone

He’s there in the storm
He’s there in the stillness
He’s there
He never left
He’s always there

 

It’s Time

You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance. Psalm 66: 12

In the end, God always bursts through
We felt like we were burning
We felt like we were drowning
In the longest, seemingly never-ending season of life

Everything was going wrong
A visit to the wilderness
Seemed to turn into a residence in the wasteland
When would God use his power to rescue us
To deliver us from the land of emptiness and despair?

Then, a tiny light appears in the distance
A twinkle of hope in the darkness

It’s God saying, ‘It’s time
Time for rescue
Time for deliverance
You’ve endured the testing
Your spiritual muscles are stronger
Your ears more attuned to my voice

Because you were listening for me in the stillness
Crying out to me in the darkness
Trying to trust me when all felt lost

It’s time for renewal, restoration, refreshing
Come out of the dark place and into my light
Come out of the desert and into the waterfall

It’s time
I’m bursting through
Come, my child’